The Tributes are Announced
Today is the day my future will be decided. With the soft and careful steps of the rest of the girls my age and myself, we find ourselves staring at a shiny silver stage vaguely resembling a plate. The reaping is like a harvest, in that we are all to be plucked from our homes and set in another place where we are essentially food for the capital’s ravenous need for entertainment. Unlike most of the kids in our district, I don’t enjoy training for the games. As the knife I once had a grasp on punctures the sloppily knitted training dummies, all I can imagine is the same soft plunging sound as I stand before a still body.
A buzz is all around my peers. I see the terror under their steel eyes of ferocity. Beneath all the hatred we were taught to have from a young age, is the innocence and fear that intertwines itself into all of us before we have a chance to be corrupted. Staring at the younger kids, I can only hope someone stronger with a better chance of winning will have a chance to survive and come home. My thoughts backfired as the surreal silence followed the pronunciation of my name. Seeing the wet tears soak up all the joy of my family, I forced myself to overcome it and look brave and I suddenly found myself on the stage next to Harper Hayes. The capitol can now have their games.
I got a very good picture of what was going on at the reaping. I thought there was very good sensory detail. I think there should be more about how you felt when your name was picked. overall I thought it was very good.
Your post was wonderful. You had so much detail that made it intriguing to read! You might just need to add commas to make the flow of the writing better.
To start off I LOVED this sentence. ” The reaping is like a harvest, in that we are all to be plucked from our homes and set in another place where we are essentially food for the capital’s ravenous need for entertainment.” It is so true and I loved how you compared the reaping to a harvest. but something you can fix is make the post flow more. just as rachel said. I think by doing that it will make your essay much much better. you also can try and say more of what was going on in your head as all of this was happening. i feel like that is the best way for a writer to get the message across to the reader. but overall you did a great job. i loved reading it!!!!